THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE

1.meet my first gay love ebler, will beat him in scrabble competition (his fave game), ask him for a one night stand and if everything turns to look great, get hitch!

2. pay bank debt of my parents and buy “torno” for my dad and after that i have enough reasons to do stupid things. utang na loob!!!

3. tour whole Philippines with my ex boyfriends (von, niko, preston and whoever they are) and do kinky stuffs with strangers inside the car, cr, sa damuhan, sairrigation and etc.

4. put up a fuckery business. soon to hire fuckees and fuckers out there!

5. lobby in congress to legalize prostitution! the hell with morality! i love prostitutes!

6. buy my first car this year (cross my fingers…) and build my glass house at the heart of the forest.

7. campaign Freud to be a Saint. i love this man… we are all sexual beings anyway!

8. have children..i mean human beings..not cats nor dogs…i am still capable to do it with you know but i want to produce a baby in artificial way..hmm i’l destroy the mystique of motherhood hehehehe

9. will sing with michael cruz, jed madela and pilo pascual while britney is in the audience. yup i love britney so much. if im going to marry an opposite sex i want it to be like britney or my lola!

10. build a grand Mausoleum of my loving lola kiking like taj mahal. i’m a lola’s boy and i guess she deserves that.she’s the only person who cud make me cry even until now.

11. confess to my bestfriend that i heart him…2 years ago the last time i met him and im still straight that time..hehehe(note: im chatting with him right now..he’s in denmark just to kill time!!!)

12. will treat my cousins abroad (18 years old and above only), visit clubs, try smoke ganja, lose virginity, and bully foreigners.

13. expand my travel agency business outside Philippines. with God’s help.nothing is impossible.

14. batch reunion with my classmates from elementary, high school and college. that’s disaster! ugh!

15. bring back the original guys4men.com website. i hate planet romeo! it sucks!!! i want g4 to rule in cyber world. phase out friendster and facebook. hehehehe

16. develop the heritage island ng lola ko. i want to turn it into a fab spa and resorts. right now, we can’t touch the island because lola’s wicked sister and brother are still alive. grrr!!

17. family reunion at my lola’s place Cantilan, Surigao del Sur. i missed the golden years where our aunts and uncles requested us to fall in line and they started to give us money! that tradition was not practiced anymore kay aside from we are no longer a kid, poor na rin ang family namin..whahaha

18. pay the debts of my cousins’ parents. believe it or not, family oriented kaayo ko. i love my cousins soo much and i don’t want to see them na pobre.

19. will have a bank time deposit at least 500k in a year. yes connie i’l do what i promise and i’l practice what u preach even if it means that i do not have food to eat anymore.

20. lastly, kiss the man i love in front of my significant others, still hoping to do with it with my first gay love…geezz!! the dopamine in my system!!! my parents are in denial thou some family members are already ok with the situation but they are all still hoping i’l end up with an opposite sex. Ok Fine!

QUOTABLE QUOTES OF IMELDA MARCOS

nakakabilib din pa minsan minsan itong si Imelda. iba talaga ang angking katalinuhan ng lolang itech. sana nga lang magising na sya sa realidad ng buhay. eto nga pala ang nakalap kong “quotable quotes ni mareng imelda!
” I was no Marie Antoinette. I was not born to nobility, but I had a human right to nobility.”

“It’s the rich you can terrorize. The poor have nothing to lose. “

“We practically own everything in the Philippines. “

“Filipinos want beauty. I have to look beautiful so that the poor Filipinos will have a star to look at from their slums.”

“People say I’m extravagant because I want to be surrounded by beauty. But tell me, who wants to be surrounded by garbage? “

“Win or lose, we go shopping after the election. “

“I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes; I had one thousand and sixty. “

“Never dress down for the poor. They won’t respect you for it. They want their First Lady to look like a million dollars. “

“If you know how rich you are, you are not rich. But me, I am not aware of the extent of my wealth. That’s how rich we are. “

“I get so tired listening to one million dollars here, one million dollars there, it’s so petty.”

“When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. “

“They call me corrupt, frivolous. I am not at all privileged. Maybe the only privileged thing is my face. And corrupt? God! I would not look like this if I am corrupt. Some ugliness , would settle down on my system. “

“Doesn’t the fight for survival also justify swindle and theft? In self defense, anything goes. “

“I have a different way of thinking. I think synergistically. I’m not linear in thinking, I’m not very logical. “

“If you know how much you’ve got, you probably haven’t got much. “

“I’m like Robin Hood. I rob the rich to make these projects come alive… not really rob. It’s done with a smile.”

“Daig ko pa si Cinderella.”

“Funny, I never shopped. Even my jewelry — not a piece of my jewelry I bought for me.” — explaining that her jewelry were gifts from her husband, children and “even the dog,”

“I was born ostentatious. They will list my name in the dictionary someday. They will use ‘Imeldific’ to mean ostentatious extravagance.”

“Why should people be afraid that we use a few small pellets of uranium at the nuclear power plant in Bataan? Don’t they know that we’re surrounded by uranium? We have the world’s fourth largest deposits of uranium. Yes, we’re all radioactive — must be the reason why we have so many faith healers!”

“I am First Lady by accident. I was not elected by the people but here I am.”

“My husband does not like me to give interviews because I say too much. No talk, no trouble.”

“Bakit mayroong mga Pilipino na naninira kay Presidente at kay First Lady? Hindi ba nila alam na kami ang Tatay at Nanay ng Bayang Pilipino? Kung kamote ang Tatay at kung kamote ang Nanay, kamote ang Pilipino! Ang kamote ay hindi nag-aanak ng kamatis.”

“In the material world, where everything is valued, when you commit yourself to God, beauty and love, it can be mistaken for extravagance.”

“Our opponent [Cory Aquino] does not put on any make up. She does not have her fingernails manicured. You know gays. They are for beauty. Filipinos who like beauty, love and God are for Marcos.”

“What’s wrong with shoes? I collected them because it was like a symbol of thanksgiving and love?”

“I hate ugliness. You know I’m allergic to ugliness.”

“Sometimes you have smart relatives who can make it. My dear, there are always people who are just a little faster, more brilliant, and more aggressive.”

“If the government will not allow my human heart to beat with love, then I have no more reason to live.”

“If Imelda can make it, everybody else can make it.

bebe gandanghari

ang ganda nya, boww!

wanted: condom tester

By Thea Alberto
INQUIRER.net
First Posted 17:50:00 02/04/2009

MANILA, Philippines—Are you married, have “strong knees”, and looking for a job? Try condom testing.

Durex condom is looking for 500 official condom testers in the Philippines. And all you need to do is try out Durex products for four weeks and comment online on their quality.

The first to accomplish the form and give the best answer to the question “What makes me the best Durex Condom Tester?” will win P50,000 cash, plus free products from Durex.

On it’s website, Durex said applicants have to go to www.durex.com.ph and click on the portion that will lead them to durexcondomtester.com.ph where they can fill out a screener form.

“Chosen applicants will also be given a tester kit which contains a pack of each of the following Durex variants — Love, Pleasuremax, Performa, Fetherlite, Tingle, Strawberry,” Durex said.

Tester kits will be sent to chosen applicants via courier, it said.

Candidates must be 21 to 35 years of age, married, and “experienced.” Participants must also be “open to further training,” have “strong knees,” and “willing to work long hours.”

So guys, wanna give it a try?

source: http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/nation/view/20090204-187410/Wanted-Condom-testers

EXCUSE ME PO!

it is part of my pastime already to read the execuse letters of our employees. It has become my stress relievers and a good source of laugh. natatawa ako sa mga mali maling grammar nila..pero at least nag try din silang gamitin ang wikang banayaga. pero para sa akin ok lang gumamit ng local dialect or ang dialect na ating nakasanayan..important thing is naiitindihan at nasasabi natin ang dapast nating sabihin. eto na sila…

Abroad Express

gusto ko talagang mag abroad kaso nga lang super tamad akong pumila para mag process ng mga papeles. masarap pa rin ang buhay pinas. at least dito makulong ka man, sure akong di ka mag-iisa.

isa ang workabroad na inaplayan ko online. wala pa naman akong nareject application sa kanila..most of the time ako ang nang rereject ng invitation nila for employer’s interview. yabang noh? nakakatamad kasing sumagot sa mga Q&A na di naman masyadong challenging yung itatanong sa iyo AND also the fact na until now wala pa akong passport.. again Juan tamad talaga akong tao!

basta kung sino man ang aalis sa bansang ito sana magtagumpay kayo. sana ang mga mahal niyo sa buhay na maiiwan magkaroon din sana ng kahihiyan sa inyong mga pinaghirapan. ugali na kasi nag iba na cash cow ang mga  OFW. akala nila ang pera ay madaling hanapin kaya kung anu anong walang kwentang bagay ang binibili. karamihan sa atin may ugaling one-time millionaire.

goodluck na lang sa mga nangangarap na umasenso sa buhay. sana maging matagumpay kayo sa inyong marangal na adhikain. pero sana naman wag nyong lunurin ang mga naiiwan nyo dito ng pera kasi lalaking tamad lalo ang mga iyon.

cheers!

a very special love: bonggang bongga!

ayaw ko sanang tapusin pa ang kwento ng miserable kong firstgay love (a very special love: unang pagtatagpo) pero wala akong magawa. puro love songs ang naririnig ko. nakaka inlove tuloy. okey heto na…

naging maganda ang aking paggising. nakatanggap ako ng isang tawag galing kay ebler. nagpatuloy ang aming kwentuhan. halos pati buhay ng tutubi ay pinakikialamanan na namin. uminit na ang telepono sa tenga ko at di pa rin kami tapos sa kwentuhan. naging bukas kami sa aming mga buhay buhay. halos pareho kami ng pinagdaanan.ang pinagkaiba lang namin nabuhay sya sa isang konserbatibong instik at mayamang angkan. samantalang ako isang hamak na  mahirap lang at naghihikahos na maiahon ang sarili sa pamamagitan ng pag gradweyt sa maayos na school (char!).

monday.tuesday.wednesday. wala kaming tigil sa pagkikita. lumalabas na rin kami in public. watching movies together. ewan ko ba kahit pangit na horror movie na napanood namin, nag enjoy kami ng sobra. naging romantic comedy bigla sya sa aming paningin.

first holding hand. sa aming pagkakaupo sa ayala cinema1, biglang natapik nya ang kaliwang kamay ko. na shock ako ng hinimas himas nya ito na medyo naka ngiti ang mga labi niyang konti. di ako pumalag. natakot din ako. baka kasi ipasok pa yung kamay ko sa ano nya, napaka minus nun..pero di yun nangyari. hinigpitan nya ang hawak. sobrang lambot ng kamay nya. natapos na ang movie at magkahawak pa rin ang aming mga kamay. umalis na kami sa sinehan. nasa garden kami ng mall when he said im sorry, his bad. yup nag sorry sya for holding my hand. na touch ako sa gesture nyang yun. ganun sya ka wholesome. totoy na totoy talaga ang dating nya. nakakatunaw ang kanyang mga malagkit na paningin. parang may gusto syang sabihin na nahibiya syang sabihin. i miss you lang ang nabanggit nya.

 

OUT.sa lubos kong kaligayahan, di ko mapigilan ang makilig. i started to open up this issue to one of my closest friends. i guess that was the first time to open up about my sexuality and the tendency to attract gayguy sa isang kakilala at kaibigan. as usual nabigla naman ang friend and her bf. but she’s happy coz at least it’s a sign that i moved on with Mau.

the time to say goodbye.a day after, nagtext ako di sya sumagot, tumawag ako di sya ma kontak. naghintay ako ng fon call sa landline pero di sya tumawag. but i was just thinking na maybe busy lang sya sa academics nya or di kaya sa varsity nila. nagbasa ako ng newspaper ng sunstar at yun nga panalo na naman ang kanila koponan.  ang galing! the foilowing day while i was having dinner at Da vINCE’s Pizza hut, na kontak ko sya. nag iba na daw sya ng number. okay fine! pero yun nga..after that never na syang nag return call, never ass in never ko na syang nakita. lahaty ng nag uugnay sa amin ay bigla na lang nawala.

depression. ilang buwan din akong umiyak. na depress ako ng bonggang bongga! iniiwasan ko na ring pumunta sa ayala mall kasi dami kasing intsik na magkasing kulay at hugis ng mukha mo. pero yun nga di ako nagtagumpay na iwasan ka. 6 months after ata when i started going out and met interesting people. unfortunately, some of them kilala ka. may na meet akong guy na ex ng ex mo. he tried to convince me nga na mag join forces kami para gantihan ka pero di ako nagpa uto. ang isang guy naman na naging bestfriend ko ngayon classmate mo sa highschool. ang bookkeeper na na hired ko ngayon ay kabarkada mo pala sa college. sa akin din nya nalaman na di ka talga straight. kay Ms. bookkeeper ko rin nalaman that they started na maghimala sila sa sekswalidad mo ng minsan nakitxt ka sa friend mo at di mo na delete ang sent item. na touch ako to find out na ako pala ang ka text mo at that time. syensya na ng dahil sa akin nabahiran tuloy ng malisya ang iyong pagkatao.

hanggang ngayon nasasaktan pa rin ako. seguro dahil nawala ka lang bigla ng wala man lang nangyari sa atin or seguro dahil love na love talaga kita. kung ganito pala ang pag-ibig di sana di ko na hinangad kay God na may taong darating sa buhay ko na mamahalin ako ng bongang bongga! ang sakit talagang magmahal. nasaktan na nama ako ngayon kasi my classmate told me that Janice had just given birth to a baby boy. si Janice ang babaeng crush ko sa elementary at niligawan ko sa high school. eniweys ibang kwentong na yun…

itutuloy para sa ending

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Kapamilya Kapuso thank you for making me no. 1

A VERY SPECIAL LOVE: SA UNANG PAGTATAGPO

bago ka man dumating may nauna na sa iyo. Mau ang name nya. she’s quiet pretty at campus fashionista.  pero di ko akalain nakatulog lang ako ng 1 hour may sumingit na sa puso nya. kaya hayon pinili nya ang kulay aeta at backstage ang beauty ko (in pernes, best of friends kami ni aeta ngayon). 3 years akong naghintay ng tamang pagkakataon. dumating si love. pero di ko akalain sa isang walang matris at uterus pala ako babagsak. kung nag indentity crisis ka nuon mas lalo na ako noh! ng dahil sayo naging conscious na tuloy ako sa mga gagawin ko. natutuliro ako baka isipin ng iba dyan na bakla ako. ok lang sana ang maging bakla pero not to our semi homophobic family.

the first time i saw u alam kong ikaw na ang magiging bad karma ko. after nabasted kasi ako ni mau, nasira na ang diskarte ko sa lovelife.  kung kani kanino ako napadpad. pero di ko naman pinagbibili ang sarili ko ha. feeling ko at that time i am alone and i need to be loved. thats bullshit! mga apat or lima rin ang pinalit ko kay Mau but all of them were just part of my outrage. seryoso sila pero ako hindi.

Unang Pagtatagpo.

JANUARY 2005. unang nagkakilala tayo sa mirc, cebu channel ata yun. nagsend ka ng pic pero di naman kagwapuhan. nag send din ako ng pic na noo at leeg ko lang ang nakita mo. nakatakip ang mga kamay ko sa mukha ko. pero kahit ganun lang ang pic na yun naging instant hit yun sa iyo. hanggang sa we decided to meet at national bookstor on that very special day.

gray tshirt, 5″10 and chinito yan ang pagpapakilala mo sa mirc. parehong wala tayong dalang cel that time so nakasalalay ang outfit sa ating pagkikita. may nakita akong kahawig sa desciption na sinabi mo nakatayo sa horror section pero nahiya akong lumapit. alam mo naman siguro ang dahilan. kasi nagmukha kang maharlika at pinagtabi mo ako para lang akong malnourish na alipin sa palasyo mo.

but that’s not enough reason para di mo ako kausapin. nag “hi” ka at natulala naman ako na parang isang aso na naglalaway sa buto, nakalabas ang dila (eww..). pumunta tayo sa jollibee, wala kang imik. masyadong awkward moment yun para sa atin. pareho tayong takot baka may makakakilala sa atin . pareho tayong paranoid! di natin alam how we introduced ourselves if may magtanong. basta ang script lang natin nun ay we’r just long lost friends and bahala na si batman.

EASTWEST. pumunta tayo sa eastwest. dun medyo madilim ang lugar. di matao. sa simpleng tanong mo na “have u read the sunstar newspaper today?” nagsimula ang chemistry nating dalawa. dun ko nalaman kong gaano ka kasikat sa pinili mong larangan. pinakita mo sa akin ang newspaper. natalo nyo pala ang UP Diliman sa isang mind game. ang galing! so ibig sabihin di rin pala magkalayo IQ natin (yabang!) from there naging komportable tayo sa isa’t isa hanggang naging open tayo sa pagbibigay ng personal info. na di naman natin ginagawa sa ibang kakilala natin. nagkukuletan tayo sa mga naughty experiences natin from our past, failed relationships and how it’s hard to live up to our familys’ high demand and expectations.

natapos tayo sa eastwest at naglakad lakad. di ako makapaniwala na gusto mo rin pala ako kahit na mukha akong mochacho mo lang. wag mo ng ipaalala na kaya mo ako nagustuhan  dahil sa mga pa genius effect ko. na amaze ka how i explained human behaviours, mga how and why nasagot ko lahat yun. syempre matalino kaya ako..hehhe joke! pero totoo yun ha! yabang!

TIME TO SAY BYE BYE

mga 10pm na yun ng we decided to separate our ways. gusto sana nating mag extend ng another hour pero u worried a lot kasi strict parents mo, baka hinahanap ka na, wala ka pang cel. naghiwalay tayo ng landas ng may pananabik. binigay mo pa ang cel number at talagang nag pray ako na sana di mali ang number na binigay mo sa akin. remember how many times i repeated to ask ur no. just to make sure 101% accurate talaga!  binigay ko rin landline ko para makasigurong ma contact mo nga ako. sumakay ka ng jeep, naglakad lang ako na parang sinto sinto sa kaka smile sa daan. nagdi daydream ako kahit gabi na!!

isa yun sa mga happiest moments of my life. that day i felt so special again. that day i can say that you are better than Mau. that you are better than anyone else.

pag uwi ko sa bahay puno ng kabog ang aking dibdib. pero natatakot ako na baka yun na ang huling pagkikita natin. nararamdaman kong ikaw ang magiging kabayaran sa mga kalokohan ko sa iba, sa mga pinaasa at iniwan ko (naks feeling gwapo talaga!)

itutuloy..

 

my first gay love

U MAKE ME FEEL SOO HOT!

i hate seeing enchong dee’s face. he reminds me of Ebler. Ayoko na sanang magsalita about him pero sadyang di maiiwasan. pano naman kasi nalaman ko lang ngayon na kabarkada nya pala ang bagong bookkeeper officemate ko. pano ko nalaman? nakita nya akong nagbukas ng guy4men. di nga makapaniwala ang gaga na mga bakla pala yun. kaya hayun nagpa search sya ng taong matagal na nilang crush sa college na may hinala silang may pagka dugong berde. to my surprise sya yung first gay love ko!

the story..

sabi ni bookkeeper  naki text kasi si ebler sa barkada nila. etong si ebler di na naman ginamit ang utak at di binura nya ang mga sent items, nabasa tuloy nila ang mga sweet nothing text nya to a guy daw. at shocks ako wen she told me the date when that incident happened…during sinulog celebration daw. gusto kong umiyak when ive heard that kasi that was the time when he kept on telling me that  ”don’t reply to this no. sa friend ko to”. at yung araw din yun ang pinaka happiest day ever ko! kahit di kami magkasama he made everything so special to me.

pero yun nga, there are things na kailangan tanggapin na we are not really meant for each other. hopefully someday we will meet again. i wish you luck and i hope you can find someone that will give soo much time, love and comfort. ewan ko ba nasasaktan pa rin ako hanggang ngayon. adios ebler!